August - shedding the years

It always seems harder to get down to the garden chores in the summer holidays. 

Facebook has irritating pictures of “Friends” having the most wonderful time in the most amazing weather with smiling faces all around them. Meanwhile you are staring at overgrown grass, weeds that are choking your shrubs and an enormous hedge to trim hoping that the kids next door don't spend all afternoon screaming on their trampoline.

To hide in sheds is certainly one of the reasons why they were invented. Others include: having somewhere to keep pieces of wood that might be useful one day, storing broken machinery and building piles of bicycles that can never be untangled. 

I have to say though that when a lady is in charge then it is often an entirely different and unrecognizable matter. Pegs, labels and order. 

A pal of mine can take up to 20 minutes to get his tools out because he has canoes, an electric table saw, a lathe, collapsible work benches, cables, sails, ropes and building equipment stored in there. His shed is 12 foot long and 5 foot wide and at the last count he still had a wife.

So if you can find your hedge trimmer and cable, some pruning shears and even some hand tools you might want to have a go at this month's tasks:

• Cut your hedges as there is still time for new growth to emerge before the cold sets in later in the year. Remember that the idea is not to have vertical sides to the hedge but ones that are “battered”. In other words they are broader at the base than the top.
• Trim Lavenders and Hebes but only lightly trying not to cut into the old growth if the plant is more than a few years old.
• Wisteria can still be cut back to 5 or 6 buds from the main stems.
• Rambling roses can have their stems that have flowered removed.
• Dead head the roses you know will give you a second flush of colour and scent.
• As ever, cut back  the stems of herbaceous plants that are now well and truly over.
• If greenfly or blackfly are becoming a problem mix a few squirts of washing-up liquid into a sprayer or a bucket of water then cover the plant with the solution. A soapy mix is just as good as that too will block up the breathing holes of those poor critters.
• Lawns can be very simply partially protected from going brown in dry spells (ho-ho-ho!) with a simple trick; just leave your grass cuttings on the lawn by keeping the collecting box off and this, in a small way, will help retain the moisture.
• Keep an eye out for plants that are wilting in the dry periods. A high wind can be just as dehydrating as bright sunshine for hanging baskets, pots and exposed plants.
• Top up your ponds especially if you are going away for a break. Fish, for example, need a certain volume of water to survive in order to keep up their oxygen levels and this can be aided by a small fountain or a running hose.  

·       When you have done all this you can collect all your trimmers, cables, hoses and shears and throw them into a big pile at the back of your shed. Then you can reach for that nice bottle of something you put in there 12 years ago.

If only you could find it.

Thanks to Ladybird Books Ltd for their piercing psychological insights into men and sheds.

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